Serendipity

I don’t drink sweet tea. Ever. I drink UNsweet tea with stevia. And if I don’t happen to have a stevia packet with me, I’ll do just UNsweet tea, extra lemon. But here’s what I’m learning about being sober, you want ALL THE SUGAR! And when I consider how many calories I’m saving myself per day by not drinking a bottle of wine (around 1000) then I think a girl can have a fucking sweet tea. Am I right????

I’m a southern girl. But not like that. I went to a performing arts school here in New Orleans and then I moved away to Boston and became gay to piss of my parents (apparently) (ask them, they have all evidence) and then I got married to a woman (Exhibit 557, “daughter marries JEWISH woman across the Mason Dixon Line in a Non-Denominational {shhhh Jewish} ceremony with trans Catholic priest officiating!!!!”) I lived un-happily married for a few years, adopted 2 amazing kiddos from foster care (I work in the “system”) only to get a divorce (cheating-ass-bitch) and move back home to the land of sweet tea and drive-thru daiquiri shoppes. I’m not like that, I’ve never taken the lid off the daiquiri while driving leaving straw paper intact, sipping away because it’s legal because THE STRAW PAPER WAS INTACT!

So I’ve been back here in New Orleans for almost three years. And if I wasn’t a budding alcoholic during my divorce, I surely came to the right place to test those family genes.

But today isn’t all about my story, because today I am sober 24 hours. That means that all day yesterday and so far today I have not drank any alcohol. At all. And really, that’s not so hard for me. I mean, I’m not gonna say I haven’t thought about the fact that I’m sitting outside by the pool on a warm and sunny day and GOD DAMN! I should have a glass of rose in my hand. But sweet tea is ok. Especially when I add the mint from the garden.

I’m gonna need to grow a lot more mint. And maybe switch to decaf tea.

***I’d like to thank John, from http://6yearhangover.wordpress.com/    who randomly added me a a friend on Twitter yesterday. He could not have come into my life at a more appropriate time. Serendipitous, for sure. I needed to read and I needed to write again. And I need to not drink alcohol.